Abstract: The “sandwich generation” includes
people who are caught between caring for their aging parents and still raising
or helping their children. This brief article encourages those in the middle
part of the sandwich to initiate family discussions with the other two parts to
discuss tax and financial planning issues.
Talking about the “sandwich generation”
The
term “sandwich generation” was originally coined to describe baby boomers
caught between caring for their aging parents and their children. These days
the term applies to whichever generation is grappling with the problem. If
you’re in the middle of the sandwich, it may be time for some honest
discussions with the other parties about pressing issues.
It’s
a good idea to start the talks with the “bottom” of the sandwich: your
children. Assuming they’re still in their formative years, make them your top
priority. At this stage, you’ll still have most of the control over decisions
that affect their lives. These involve personal choices that are different for
every family.
The
“top” half of the sandwich can be more problematic. Depending on their health
status, finances and other factors, your parents may not welcome assistance.
They may be dismissive of your concerns and may display attitudes ranging from
cooperative to highly resistant.
To
initiate a family meeting, invite all the key players — your parents, siblings,
their spouses if appropriate and, possibly, others. Generally, it’s best to hold
such a meeting face-to-face. But if
distance or other factors make this unrealistic, an online video chat might
work as well.
What
should you discuss? Cover the entire tax and financial planning gamut. The
dialogue should be frank and honest. Many issues can be sensitive and emotions may
run high. So be prepared for some handwringing or pushback.
You
may find that one session isn’t enough to accomplish your objectives. In fact,
you might discover a need to include additional family members to resolve the
issues. You may even want to broaden the circle to include your CPA or attorney.
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